Is this your happiness?

I'm always keep repeating in my dua that I want to travel part of the world one day. I keep repeating it daily.

Last December, I flew straightaway to Bandung after my final examination. I was thinking about spending time there for 2 weeks. But with the Power of Allah, I have been called to come back to Malaysia and getting ready to fly to Ireland. Fully sponsored. I could not believe it. It is mind blowing because actually I didn't just bought the tickets to Indonesia. But, I also bought a ticket for solo backpacking in Seoul, Korea. It is on June 2018 inshaAllah.

And now, I have to travel to Europe between those 2 destinations. The route will be Indonesia, Europe, Korea. It is really a full year of travel. If you ask me why I would love to travel, it is mainly because I want to gain experience and see the world. It is also my dream to experience the Islamic ambience abroad. 

And now, what I could say is to rethink again what is happening in my life. This is a blessing but at the same time also a test for me. It makes me ponder on how grateful to live in Malaysia with a warm weather. Yes, I love winter and maybe some of you love winter. While Malaysia sometimes can be scorching hot. But to look on the bright side of it, in the hot weather during the afternoon in Malaysia, it will be very refreshing when you take ablution (wudhuk) during that time. But here, every single minutes is totally cold. Even heater in my room could not compromise. It is quite challenging to take a wudhuk even you have heater in the toilet. Because when you go out from the toilet, you will be shaking because it is really cold. 

Fajr is a big challenge. It is a colder moment in a day. Touch the phone to stop the alarm clock, it is just like you touch an ice block. To get out from bed and touch the floor need full demand of emaan there :D . Especially when you are alone at room. Nobody going to remind you. 

But I also find something beautiful in this struggle. For every single minutes of struggle and the 'vibration' of my body, I know Allah counts every single of it. It is well-recorded. And that's what keep me going. It is beautiful to just depend and rely on Him. When no one reminds you, you remind yourself that Allah is watching. He is All-Seeing. May Allah rewards our struggle. All of us.

Where are you going?

Assalammualaikum ! 😀

I am travelling right now with a public transport. Catch up train after train. Walking from one station to another stations. 

But one incident happened that makes me ponder. I was waiting the train at this one platform for half an hour. While waiting there, I was looking at another platform in front me and thinking 'their train is coming, how about us?. How long do I have to wait?'. That was 5 minutes after I arrived at the platform.

And after half an hour, my train arrived. i was so happy! I was about to enter the train until I realize it is going to the opposite direction of my destination. I was rushing to check the route. Then at that time I realized 'DEAR,  YOU'RE CATCHING THE WRONG TRAIN !'

Does it means the train that I looking at like 25 minutes ago is supposed to be my train?  Allahu 😢😢😢😢

I was drained out because a lot of walking. This situation that comes from my reckless action makes me even dissapointed. Then, I take the elevator to another platform.

While trying to be the most optimistic person in the world ever today ,😏 I've come to a reflection because my mind can't stop whispering at me that 'raqby, you're catching the wrong train'.

I was thinking so hard right now in front of the train railway -( Railway's insipration 😪). That is just for 25 minutes. What if you've done a lot in your whole life, doing this and that, going for volunteering here and there, spending money for what you thinks right and you totally sure of that. "Yes!  This is the good deeds! I'm the most generous person in this world! " You're  very sure and happy to be that person.

But then when time comes. When you already about to leave this 'station (dunya) ' and move to 'the next (akhirah)'. You realized you were catching the wrong train! 😱 train = your deeds.

All you have done before. All the struggles, all the sacrification for collecting as much deeds as you can is a useless effort!  Why is it so? Because there was no sincerity in doing that deeds. There was no ikhlas. It just like an empty can which you think have something inside because it makes loud sound but it is in fact empty.

It was very scary you know, to submit in front of Allah and very sure you've bring a lot of deeds but in fact,  you was catching the wrong train. The 'direction' is opposite to ikhlas.

You train lead to riyak, takbur. Make u proud of yourself and chanting the deeds to gain people's impression.
Friend,  this is really scary.

May all of us perform good deeds only to please Allah. Renew your intention.  Renew it always. Always checking your platform whether you're catching the right train.

May Allah bless

I'm getting married

Assalammualaikum.

Today I break the wall to talk about love. About jodoh, marriage and feeling. I rarely discuss things like this in my post or blog.

But bcs some situations happened so maybe I should have a say. It is about the millennials. Concern for your own benefit of life. Study, and waiting for work. And then will be trapped in the financial struggle. Now it's time to build a strong foundation of financial and knowledge. But our youngsters be too blinded with the urge to dating someone.

I didn't say it is wrong to fall in love and getting married. If you got a plan to work hard and be independent in your life too. But the problem is I see youngsters nowadays were so happy with the question 'WHO AMONG US WOULD GET MARRIED FIRST?!' as soon as you leave school you feel it is a must topic.

And when you dont have that 'the other half' yet. You feel lonely,  not pretty, not attractive, and insecure.

But hey,  look at all these times, who are behind you. Your parents.

Here ladies, dont worry too much about jodoh, marriage and love. That's Allah's job. Dont stress over it. When the time comes, the right person comes to you.

But that's your job to be the one who will serve your parents, to be wise and knowledgeable.

Be a woman who is content with Allah as her Lord,  Islam as her religion and Muhammad as her Prophet.

Be a woman who could be a mother who brings her children up to fear Allah and to follow the Sunnah.

Be a woman who aware,  well-read and educated woman.

Blessings would never hurt the believer

Blessings would never hurt the believer?  Then is it means this feeling is not a blessing because it hurts? 

We always overestimate and underestimate blessing. People lied to you when they said true success hurts,  true love hurts or true friendship hurts. It is a blessing from Allah swt. And the blessing would never hurt the believer.

Then why at some points, we still feel hurt? Let say, from the example above, I pick a friendship. Maybe it is time to recheck your friendship and question yourself on what is the foundation of the friendship that you have built. Is it truly under the good intention?  Or is it just to have a friend and take a benefit from that person?  If you choose to be friend with the person just because you feel lonely or you want to be well-known like that person,  that's the reason when you reach some point, you'll feel hurt.

Got it?  If it is still not clear. I give you one example about the story of Bilal Bin Rabah. He was tortured severely. Everyone knew him as a weak man before. The man who always lose in fight. The man who only can serve his master. But then, when Allah's blessing came to him and he embraced Islam. What happen is he suddenly become so tough. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. And the inner strength inside him allows him to withstand the physical torment.  Why is it so?  Doesn't  it hurts him?  It maybe seems hurt,  but he knows the greater blessing awaits him,  Jannah.  He believed. And the blessing would never hurt the believer.
The blessing besides being tortured make him strong.

So back to the topic, that's why any blessings in your life would never hurt you. If it's hurt, it's not a blessing. But it is not wrong to feel hurt. It is a human's nature to have a feeling. To be sad or happy in certain circumstances. But the level of hurt should not exceed the limit until you blame the fate.

If you realized, let say you gain success in your life. But even so, everything around you makes you feel not happy,  hurt. Maybe because there is still one part in your life that lead you to ignorance. That makes you far away from the Creator. Then where is the blessing?

After all,  He knows what best. Wallahualam.

Titanium? Feel this !

How great the tests befall !

It is kind of funny on how great we could be blinded by the surrounding. It is amusing how crushed you can be when the dunya exerted great pressures on you. While, you are the most titanium person yourself have ever known. (at least you think so hee)

I’ve been tested with power. The power here means position. Position in school, faculty or whatnot. Currently, I am in great test. MashaAllah. How great it is, until it almost crushed me into pieces. 

I have never claimed to be in this position, never intend to be a group’s leader, and never want to be aimed. But Allah is testing me now by giving me so much of this worldly attraction. 

Got appointed as a group’s leader for almost all subject I currently taking. Now being aim to be in the high committee of the faculty. And surprisingly, I got selected for that.

Allahu..

This is not easy for me. Because, there will be a lot of people that I need to take care of. I can’t just take it lightly as I really afraid of being asked later in that Day of Justice. And it is not easy for me to withdraw from the position too since I’ve been selected and spotted by the top management who determinedly want me in. Which, I don’t get why. It really put us on tense when people put a high expectation on us right?

But then I ponder again, I do it because of Allah and for the sake of others. I would like to bring the change so that all of us can be better. And I really hope this will be a heavy good weightage for me. After all He knows what best. He controls the earth and the sky, and everything between them. Let follow the flow. May Allah guide me in guiding others. InshaAllah

Back to the saying of Prophet Sulayman A.S, Haza min fadhli rabbi. This is by the grace of my lord, to test whether I’m grateful or not. 

And one more thing though, even the grains of dust before it become a supernova. It contracts and expands few times because of the great pressure. I don’t know how He planning my life. And why He put me in this. But I believe in Him. Wa makaru wa makarallah, wallahu khairul makirin. “They planned, and Allah also planned. And Allah is the Best Planner”.

She became her own hero

Assalammualaikum,

I have been asked to give a taddabur about “a woman”. It supposed to be related with al Quran verses, with the theme of woman. But I already had something in my mind before that. It also related to the theme. Thus, let me take this opportunity to share about it.

“She became her own hero”. That’s the title. It is a very meaningful title for me. In this world, where people too depend on someone, let you be different. In this world, where people longing for someone, let you give all of your heart only to Him. Allah. In this world when people let their eyes shedding tears because of someone, let your eyes shedding tears only because afraid of Allah. Let your eyes be your witness in the Day of Judgement. Against the current !

The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Two eyes will not be touched by Hellfire: An eye that cries from the fear of Allah, and an eye that spent the night in a guard post in the path of Allah (Jihad).” [Tirmidhi]

Counting my age which is 21 this year, I’m afraid if I have no enough time to be totally falling in love with Him. 

Move on to the message. I heard so much about girls who weep because of her heart broken. I witness so much girls crushed because they got cheated. I saw they fall into grief just because that someone special doesn’t remember their birthday. Allahu, how soft our hearts are.

Thus, I want to bring you a different story here. It is about the angel of steel (bidadari besi). Her name is khawlah al azwar. How inspiring her story was. 

Khawlah was the daughter of one of the chiefs of Bani Assad tribe, and her family embraced Islam in its early days. Her father’s nickname is Al azwar.Khaulah Al-Azwar was a woman who lived in the days of Companions. Khaulah has mental strength and physical strength. Since her childhood, she has been good at playing swords and spears. 

She was very close with her brother Dhirar and they were always doing everything together. So it was only natural that when he went to go fight with Khalid ibn Waleed’s army against the Romans in the greater Syria region, Bilad Al-Sham, that she would go with him. Her brother, Dhirar Al azwar was known as a fearless fighter. He was a master of the martial arts and would go into battle without a shield, helmet or any kind of army and he was extremely powerful. He knew exactly how to fight.

One day he has gone missing. He was captured by the enemies. 

And then there was another battle, in that battle there was a knight who is so mystery because he covered his face. He was in black attire, with a large green shawl wrapped around his waist and covering his chest. Even Khalid al walid was also wondering who the knight is. This knight looks so brave and it was stated that, this man looks like he really want to syahid in that battle. Even if the power of enemies was greater, this knight was fearless. He rides his horse straight to the military line of enemies and dividing it. He penetrated the military line and be at the middle of the enemies. He did not show any sign to retreat. This makes Khalid al walid and his armies stunned and eager to know who the mysterious knight is. Khalid al walid and his assistance try to pull back this knight because they want him alive. But they cannot catch up to him, he was too fast for them. Could you imagine, Khalid al walid who is the Commander of Islam and a great fighter, also adore this knight? Could you imagine how great this knight was fighting? 

Then, Khalid approached the knight and asked him to show his face. A pair of black eyes staring at khalid before returning to attack the enemy. Then Khalid’s soldier following the knight and said to him “O warrior, chief called you and you went away, show us your face and tell us your name, so that we can give you a respect.” Again, this mysterious knight avoids them and went away.

After the battle, when he passed by Khalid, Khalid insist him to stop and ask him again. When Khalid heard a voice of a woman, he almost fell down from his horse. He was so surprised.

You know what the knight answered? 

"My leader, I did not answer because I am shy. You are a great leader, and I am only a woman whose heart is burning. I am Khawlah al azwar" 

MashaAllah. When her brother is not around, she wanted to save her brother. She did not begging any heroes to save him. But she was the one who be the hero. She became her own hero. And she fought in the path of Allah. She used her expertise in martial arts in the path of Allah.

Khaulah was not like a rapunzel who is waiting in a tower for the prince charming to come with his white horse. Khaulah was not like a cinderella who is waiting the prince to save her life from a poverty. Khaulah was a lady who saves the world by her own hand. She needed a hero and that's what she become. 

Dear girls, it’s not that I ask you to ride a horse and bring a sword. But I want you, to fight in your battle of life. I want you to get up and become someone better. Become your own hero.

This is not feminist thinking. And I’m not a feminist. (my father is forever my hero)

Just, when you still cannot find your anchor, be your own anchor. After all, Allah is the permanent anchor. La hawla wala quwata illa billah.

Stressing out? Stop complaining

Breathe in and breathe out.

I am really happy because everything goes smoothly by His will.

I would like to talk about the project group in university or college. In university sometimes, you have to pair with someone who you never know before. And the ice breaking starts with a question: ‘Do you already have a group? Want to be pair?”  There you go.

But then some people experience tough process in completing their project because of their group mates. Some feel it is really easy to work in the team. Could we find any solution for the first case?

Yes. We could actually.

Why do you want to be so upset if your group mate didn’t do his work? Why you see it as your stumbling block that makes you feel so bad? Why do you feel so angry when that particular homosapien didn’t reply you?

Dear you, what do you actually expect from the people who also a ‘hamba’?. Sinful, full of mistakes, tiny creation and don’t even have power over himself..

I heard people say things like “yea at least can he please be a little wiser? I’m annoyed”

Not all people are smarter like you. Not all people thinking like you. Not all people easy to catch up things like you. Is it their fault if they don’t know? Is it their fault if no one lends a hand to help them?

This problem would forever haunt you if you do not change the way you think. Stop complaining, dear. If you find darkness around you, be the light. If you see people drowning in their world without purpose in life, be the guidance.

All of us have our own flaws and strengths. Get to know each other and guide each other. As said in Surah Al-hujurat verse 13.

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.

 Life is about giving.

Allah says in Al Quran, surah al baqarah verse 30.

And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority." They said, "Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?" Allah said, "Indeed, I know that which you do not know."

Khalifah is also known as a leader. Whether a leader for yourself or people around you. Leader doesn’t mean that you give a command to others and you neglect their rights. Leader is not about complain and badmouthing your group mates’ flaws. 'Leader' means that you serve other, you be their ear (listening to their complaint and on why they can’t do the task on time). You guide them on how they should do the work. Teach them how to live a life.

My dad taught me something in life which is “berhenti mengeluh”. My mom told me “ as long as you enjoy doing it, do it”.

You need to have the art of passion. Passionate in everything you do even if it just a presentation of one chapter or if it just that you have to go out and interview a company. Have passion in everything. Do it sincerely.

And invite others to enjoy it too. We want a long lasting friendship after the project work and not “okay, I swear I won’t be in the same group with you again”. Allahu..

Expect less, do more. 😄